The Bible for Women

Forgiveness, Increase our Faith

The world has a lot to say about forgiveness.  A quote by Henry Ward Beecher says,

“I can forgive, but I cannot forget is another way of saying I will not forgive.” 

You can buy books and go to seminars on how to forgive.  There are talk shows that discuss forgiveness.  There are those who have Ph.D’s and XYZ’s that claim to be experts on how to forgive.  An old proverb says says:

 “A good deal of trouble has been caused in the world by too much intelligence and too little wisdom.”

 I want to look at what God says about forgiveness.  My Wednesday night Ladies Bible Class teacher, Marion, did a lesson on the prodigal son and she challenged me to answer the question, “What if he kept on sinning and kept coming back over and over asking for forgiveness?  Do I continue to forgive?”

The answer to this question is found in several places in scripture.  We can look at Luke 17:3-5 which will be a premise for this lesson which states,

 “So watch yourselves.  If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.  If he sins against you seven times a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.  The apostles said to the Lord, “INCREASE OUR FAITH!” 

If I am reading this correctly there is nothing here that states, “Forgive unless…” or “Forgive except for…”
Increase our faith, they said.  Wow!  What is this concept the Lord is teaching?  Let’s look at Luke 6:37.

“ Do not judge and you will not be judged.  Do not condemn and you will not be condemned.  Forgive AND you will be forgiven.  Give and it will be given to you.  A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over will be poured into your lap.  For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

These two passages answer the question.  Do we continue to forgive?  Does this mean that we must continue to have a relationship with the person who sinned against us?  Must we reconcile our relationship with the person who sinned against us?  These were difficult questions for me so I decided to start at the beginning and find the definition on forgiveness.

Several years back, I endured a difficult trial in my family so please know that I am not here before you as someone who has never had to forgive.  I also am before you a sinner who continually asks for forgiveness.

 In I Timothy 1:15-16, Paul writes, “Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance:  Christ Jesus came into this world to save sinners-of whom I am the worst.  But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.”

Because we are sinners, we are examples of Christ’s love and God’s mercy.  It is important to forgive because we have been forgiven.
I’d like to ask some questions.  Have you ever had to forgive another person?  Have you ever had to ask for forgiveness?  Have you ever hurt anyone with your words?  Has anyone ever hurt you with his or her words?  Has your husband betrayed you in any way?  Has he hurt you with his lack of commitment to your family?  Have you ever betrayed your husband?  Have you placed unrealistic goals or expectations on him that he cannot meet?  Have your children disappointed you?  Does someone make you feel that you owe them even after you have asked for forgiveness?  Have you put someone in the position to feel like they owe you something even after he or she has asked for forgiveness?

Ladies, this study was so intense that I could go on for several lessons about the topic.  In Matthew 4:4, Christ tells us,

“It is written: ‘Man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.”  Hebrews 4:12-13 says, “For the word of God is living and active, sharper than a double edged sword, it penetrates even to the dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges thoughts and attitudes of the heart.  Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight.  Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.”

I heard a preacher, Jeff Abrams, once say, “The sword is the only thing that will permanently destroy the devil from our lives.”  Paul tells us that sword is the Word of God.  So if we want to learn how to forgive where do we go?  Psychology Today?  No, God’s inspired Word.

I want to describe forgiveness.  I read a very good book and I wrote this quote from it,

“To forgive means we will never get from that person what was owed us.  And that is what we do not like because that involves grieving for what will never be:  The past will not be different.  To hang on to the demand is to stay in unforgiveness and that is the most destructive thing we can do to ourselves.  Only one person is needed for forgiveness.  I release the person’s debt and he no longer owes me.  Forgiveness does not require reconciliation.”

Interesting.

Matthew 13:43 explains that “The righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their father.”  What does Christ say about being righteous?  In Matthew 5:20, he states that, “Unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law we will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven.”  We as Christians have an obligation to be better than the world’s standard of forgiveness.

 Matthew 7:3-5 says,
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?  How can you say to your brother, let me take the speck out of your eye when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?  You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck  from your brother’s eye.”  Matthew 12:36-37 goes on to say, “But I tell you men will have to give an account on the Day of Judgment for every careless word they have spoken.  For by your words you will be acquitted and by your words you will be condemned.”

We must be careful how we treat people who have confessed their sins and those who have sinned against us.  For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, Paul tells us.  What a wonderful thing to have a forgiving church family.  I have seen so many repent publicly of their sins in my home congregation and how great for them that they are surrounded by people who love them, hug them, pray for them, cry with them, and forgive them.  We are a forgiving people.  And we should be.  James says in James 5:19,

“My brothers if one of you should wander from the truth ans someone should bring him back, remember this:  Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his ways will save him from death and cover a multitude of sins.”  Christ said, “Blessed are the merciful,” and in Matthew 6:12 asks God, “Forgive us our debts AS WE ALSO have forgiven our debtors.”  In other words, we must forgive the same way we want to be forgiven.  Let’s ask ourselves, on the Day of Judgment, do we want to be forgiven in the same way we forgive others?  Are we doing what we want God to do for us?

 Further down in verse 14, Christ adds, “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive your sins.” 

Mark 11:25-26 goes on to say, “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive your sins, “ and in Ephesians 4:32, “Be kind and compassionate to one another forgiving each other just as Christ God forgave you.” 

Again, none of these verses say, “unless he did this,” or “as long as he does this.”  Does God say anything about forgiveness??  God takes forgiveness very seriously.  So seriously that he sent his son to be betrayed, spat upon, and murdered a vicious death so that we could have his forgiveness.  None of us will be able to stand before God worthy of his reward.  We all have struggles.  Maybe we didn’t waste away our inheritance and struggle with an ego, but we struggle with something.  Is it our temper?  Gossip?  Lust?  Spending money unnecessarily?   Immodesty?  Bad language?  Church attendance?  Hurting people with our words?  At some point we are going to be the forgivee?

Those of us who are struggling now with a trial or with forgiving someone need to be reminded of the words in Matthew 5:38-48.  With these commands, Christ is definitely holding us to a higher standard than the rest of the world.  Let’s cry out to God as the apostles did to INCREASE OUR FAITH.  We have to be better than the world.  Christ came to teach us some concepts NOT of the world.  Some say, “I just can’t do it.  I’m not ready to forgive.”  I have said these words.  Christ tells me through he scriptures that I better get ready.  James 4:17 says, “Anyone who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins.”  Christ tells us that we don’t know the hour that he will come again and we must be ready.

I’d like to share some passages for those who are having trouble forgiving someone.  God knows your heart.  He knows you are hurting and he loves you so much.  You are his child and he is aching in his heart for you and your pain.  Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-30, “Come to me all you who are weary and are heavy laden and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” 

He says to learn from him.  He also told us in John 16:33, “In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world.” 

When we go through our struggles, we must always remember what Christ went through on this earth and he did not sin even upon seeing Satan face to face.  While in torment on that cross he was asking for the forgiveness of those who put him there.  Christ did not wait to be “ready” to forgive.  I am not against reading good books or obtaining counseling, but we must be careful about where secular counselors may lead us.  Christ did not go through two years of counseling and seek the approval of his therapist and consult all of his friends and get affirmation from the preacher before he forgave the ENTIRE WORLD!

 He did not read a book from a famous counselor or call in to the radio talk show psychologist.  We put too much emphasis on what the world says we must do to forgive and not what God says we must do to forgive.  We must not be conformed to this world.  Christ didn’t wonder what others might think of him if he forgave the people who murdered him.  He simply knew what he must do in order to be in accordance with God’s will.  Like Christ, we don’t know that we have time to “get ready to forgive.”

I’d like to end with a passage that gives comfort especially in those times when we are asking God if he’s still with us.  Is he still helping us through this difficult time?  It is Exodus 14:13-14.  God loved the Israelites and how many times did he forgive this bunch?  At the point when the Egyptians were closing in and they were approaching the Red Sea- they were basically telling Moses, “Now see what you’ve done.” 

“He answered the people, ‘Do not be afraid.  Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today.  The Egyptians you see today you will never see again.  The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.’”

I end this lesson asking you to ask God, “Increase my faith.  Help me forgive with the kind of faith that is better than the world.”

Margie Busby

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